Vampire Tracker Part 2 #fridayflash #tuesdayserial #samplesunday


Vampire Tracker Part 2

     It was dusk when Jer and I set out. Dusk has always been my favorite part of the day. Its light enough to see, but dark enough to trick the fire flies into flashing. There is something romantic about it, that gets me every time.  I roll down the window to let the night air flow around me. It smells of earth and planted fields. I lean out the window and take a deep breath, the smell consumes me.

                “Best smell on earth Jer.”

                Jeremy shakes his head, his eyes look dreamy. “I disagree. Cindy Wright is the best smell on earth.”

                “Cindy!” My first lands on his upper arm. Jeremy fakes that it hurts him, but a smile traces across his lips.

                “Cindy was the best smelling girl at school. When she walked in every morning the guys would line up in the hallway just to get a whiff of her perfume.”

                “Tell me something I don’t know?”

     Just about everyone had a crush on Cindy. She was one of those perfect girls, with just the right amount of curl in her hair, flawless tanned skin, shiny lips and sparkly blue eyes. On top of that she was smart and funny. I never heard anyone say anything bad about Cindy, ever. It wouldn’t surprise me if a few girls lined up to catch a whiff of her perfume just hoping some of her glamour might rub off on them.

     Fireflies flicked in the field as we pulled onto the gravel road in front of the Nat Turner sign. During the day the field didn’t look like much, but now it held a promise of something mysterious.

Wikimedia Commons by Quit007

     Every time I see fireflies I think of my grandfather. The summer before he died we’d sit out on the porch. As soon as the fireflies came out he’d hand me a jar with holes punched in the lid and tell me to run out and collect as many fireflies as I could. Then we’d sit for hours and watch their magical flickering lights. One night towards the end of summer he put his arm around my gawky shoulders. 

“Vella, I’m going to tell you somethin’ I’ve never told anyone.” He looked at me very serious. “If you are ever in danger fireflies will help you.”

“Help me? How?” I was sure he was yanking my chain.

“Well that in itself is a sticky situation. First, you collect just a few, rub off their bottoms and then squish it around your right ring finger. The magic they hold in their lights will still shine and protect you.”

“Gross! How is that suppose to protect me?”

He looked at me and winked. “Sometimes you’ve got to believe in the unknown Vella. Who knows it might just save your life someday and then you’ll have your good ol’ granddad to thank for it.”

     This caused endless amounts of giggles. I didn’t realize then how precious time was, when falls first leave struck the ground he was gone. After all these years that has stuck with me and I often wonder if there was any truth to it. If tonight proves to be more than a clump of bones scattered on the ground and a cross with a name scratched out of it, the unknown will have a very real place in my vocabulary.

“Quit night dreaming Vella. We need to set up before it gets too dark.”

Via Flickr by Curious Expeditions

     Jeremy handed me the tripod and our bag o’ goodies we called Last Resort. This bag was filled with all the typical vampire hunting necessities; squirt guns filled with holy water, silver crosses, strands of garlic, flashlights, deer urine spray to cover our scent and a couple of wooden stakes Jeremy made in wood shop on the sly. I’m sure Mr. Hadley would have given him hell if he had known. But, please, making gumball machines and locker shelves was beyond boring. I mean really, who comes up with those ideas anyway?

     Jeremy scanned the night sky and I picked up my pace.  I didn’t want the wrath that was Jeremy if he had to set up in the dark. As we entered the woods the light faded, but Jeremy seemed to know right where to go. Earlier we had decided to set up our shot near the cross. The backdrop to a very dramatic scene with me going over the gory details of the vampire rebellion. I was several paces behind Jeremy when he stopped.

                “What’d you stop for?”

                Jeremy waved his hand back at me. “Shush.”

     I stopped. When Jeremy didn’t move I walked forward. The harder I tried to be quite, the more branches and twigs snapped under my feet. Damn, if I only had brought my moccasins, then maybe I could be stealth like an Indian. I bet Nat Turner wore moccasins.

     Jeremy still hadn’t moved when I came up behind him, but I could tell his eyes were transfixed on something. A breeze blew past me, electrifying the air and caused the hair on my arms to stand up. I moved to the side. About ten paces in front of us was the cross we had found earlier. The only difference was there was no longer a mound of grass and dirt, but a wooden door propped open.

                Jeremy’s face was pale. “Did you see something?”

                He looked at me, eyes wide, lips trembling. “I swear I saw something.”

                I tugged on his shirt. “What did it look like?”

                “It moved so fast it was hard to see. It was this dark, hunched over thing.”

                I looked back at the door. Clumps of grass stuck to the top. “Did it go in or out?”

 Jeremy threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know Vella, I don’ know. But, I think we should leave.”             

 “Leave! Are you crazy! This is the closest we’ve ever come to something.”

“Vella, I like vampires, but not like you do. I came along on this trip because I thought it would be fun. I thought it’d be cool to see some of the country, but now, that I’m here and that thing could be one, I’m scared shitless.”

“Me too, Jer, but we can’t leave. Not when we are so close to actually seeing one! What if that was a vampire! Then all of the myths and legends would be real. We would be the first to know.”

“Or the last.” Jeremy was silent, weighing it out in his mind. “Ok Vel, but we are not getting any closer to that door. I’ll set up the camera here and if anything gets any freakier then I’m outta here and you’re coming with me.”

“Fair enough. Let’s set up, whatever it is surely can’t come out until dark. Most likely it’s just some animal anyway. If not, we have Last Resort to protect us.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, mocking me. “Yeah, Last Resort.”


This flash fiction is part of a vampire series for #FridayFlash. Follow the links below to read more.

Vella and Jeremy Vampire Tracker Part 1

Ammon The Moon Flute Player The Cliff Dwelling Part 2

Lis, Andrew and the Flute Player The Cliff Dwelling Part 1

Lis Desert Vampires.  

Natalia Confession of the Vampire Natalia

Natalia Vampire Natalia Searches the Jungle

AndrewVampires in the Jungle 

Veronique Vampires at the Moulin Rouge 

Veronique and Natalia Snow in Paris

Vampires ~ Flash Fiction ~ Friday Flash


24 Comments Add yours

  1. John Wiswell says:

    While the least explicitly magical, my favorite part was the reminiscence over fireflies and the grandfather. That’s a neat little moment to be able to reflect upon.

    In the third and fifth paragraphs, two sentences have extra spaces. That might be a blog formatting thing, but I thought I’d catch them for you just in case.

    1. laradunning says:

      Thanks John! Your great at catching edits. I’m thinking you need to do that on the side. 🙂 I was on the fence about the firefly part, but when I took it out, it didn’t read the same. Glad you liked it.

  2. I love the combination of the story about her grandfather and her outing with Jeremy. As part of her Last Resort arsenial, she may need a few fireflies to keep her safe.

    Thanks Lara, this was a good piece 🙂

    1. laradunning says:

      As always thanks for commenting!

  3. Leslie Rose says:

    I used to make rings from fireflies (we called them lightning bugs). Loved that image.

    1. laradunning says:

      Yes, I did too. Now that I think back on it I feel kinda bad as they died for my pleasure.

  4. Steve Green says:

    I thought the spippets regarding Cindy Wright were a nice humourous touch. As for whether the “thing” went in or out? I wouldn’t care, I would be too busy running. I do have the feeling these two are going to bite off far more than they can chew. Bring it on. 🙂

    1. laradunning says:

      It took me a few days to figure out where the next parts will be going. But, inspiration hit and I have tied it in nicely with the Vampire #fridaylfash series I am writing. I think after this almost all the characters will be in play.

  5. ganymeder says:

    Oh, what a place to leave us hanging! You are very cruel…

    1. laradunning says:

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  6. I like these two: they are intelligent where they could so easily have been the stock characters from a teen comedy/horror flick. You put just enough atmosphere into the story without swamping us in it: this makes it more real.
    I liked the memory of her grandfather and the firefly detail,although for me it could be a shorter paragraph. It broke the flow of the main story a bit.

    1. laradunning says:

      Your comment on stock teen comedy/horror flick characters made me laugh. They always seem to run to the danger or toward the trouble. When I watch those movies I cringe and think no one would really do that! With the firefly paragraph I wanted the dialogue to get the action across, instead of telling it. In doing so it did make it longer.

  7. ~Tim says:

    I like the bit about the fireflies too and I also think it could be shorter.

    1. laradunning says:

      The firefly bit added on to the piece. I tried it without it, but I missed it when it was gone and added it back in. I tried to make both of these under or around 1000 words. Thanks for commenting Tim!

  8. pegjet says:

    Keept at it. I’m enjoying this. I like that Jeremy is being a bit of a realist, and possibly won’t do anything stupid. 😉

    1. laradunning says:

      LOL…I debated on this. In the end having one voice of reason won over as I was writing. One thing that always gets on my nerves in movies is that the kids always seem to go toward the danger. Last night I watched Under the Mountain. In one scene a pair of twins enter sa house that has slimy veins growing all through it. Needless to say the people in the house are super creepy too. Anyway at one point instead of going out the front door they go down this slimy hole in the center of the house thinking that will get them out. In the end I just think kids are smarter than that. It would have been more realistic one twin had accidentally fallen down there and the other went down to save them. Thanks for commenting!

  9. Good story! I enjoyed following the main story in this of them tracking the vampires, but the flashback was quite well done, too.

    1. laradunning says:

      Thanks for commenting Eric!

  10. Icy Sedgwick says:

    I love the voice you’ve created in this character. She’s quite conversational without being hysterical. I went back to read part 1 and part 2 definitely builds up the tension!

    1. laradunning says:

      I’ve been working on improving my POV writing in 1st person, your comment means a lot. Thanks for commenting Icy!

  11. Hi there Lara –

    I like the flow of your writing. Not only is it interesting, it reads well.

    I wasn’t sure about the fireflies bit TBH. It read a bit too telegraphed as being IMPORTANT. That said, I’m a believer that anything can be expressed, just needs a bit of miss-direction in there? Or linked directly (e.g. grandpa talking about vampires)? Nothing wrong with the idea, though.

    I really liked Jeremy’s reaction to being confronted with the potential of a real-life vampire: ‘no thanks, I was here for the road-trip.’ That read a lot more realistic than a lot of stories I’ve read. Very good.

    Given that they’ve never gotten near a vampire before, the bag of tools might need a bit more downplaying as it feels very professional — I started to forget they weren’t ‘proper’ vampire hunters (e.g. Jeremy being very nonplussed about a bag whose contents have been defined by a lot of Anne Rice Novels, might work, or something similar)

    Liked that first maybe-was-maybe-wasn’t glimpse of the vampire.


  12. Stephen says:

    A nice ciffhanger. I’m enjoying the ride so far.

  13. Aidan Fritz says:

    “I disagree. Cindy Wright is the best smell on earth.” is a great detail and makes for good banter.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s