Night Watchers #fridayflash #spokensunday #samplesunday #flashfiction

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Elfwood.com by Piucca io

 Night Watchers

     At night I feel them. I want them to come. I watch from the window, making sure to leave it ajar so the cold air creeps into my room. I know the coldness will keep away the demons waiting to torment me. I lay down on my bed and know I will soon be safe.

     Before they enter the room I feel them. At first, they hover at my window, then slip through to fill my room with their cold, lifeless bodies. From their mouths comes more frigid air which fills the room and pushes the demons into the darkness. Under their watchful eye my memories slip away and my soul is finally free.

     They are kind to me for they remember, what it was like to be human. They remember the pain, the joy and the sorrow and so they protect me. I find solace in these peaceful nights when they watch over me. No tossing and turning, no haunted memories of faces and facts that cannot be changed. 

     That all fades when the first beams of light penetrate my window. They scurry from the sun causing the icy barrier to shatter. My soul, which was drifting in the room with them, is shoved back down my throat into the labyrinth of my pounding heart.

Friday Flash, Flash Fiction, Spoken Sunday, Sample Sunday

15 responses to “Night Watchers #fridayflash #spokensunday #samplesunday #flashfiction”

  1. This has one of the strongest voices I’ve read from you, in narrative or dialogue. Feels very personal, and the haste at the end works well.

    minor typos: third paragraph, “solice” for “solace”; fourth, “scury” for “scurry”

    1. Thank you John. I am trying to improve and become a stronger writer in different POV voices. This piece is a work I wrote in grad school and shortened it down drastically for this flash.

  2. Deanna Schrayer Avatar
    Deanna Schrayer

    Yes, I agree, very strong and personal voice here, and that last line is a humdinger! Well done!

    1. Thank you Deanna!

  3. Laura, once more you intrigue and pull me into … I should say you pull me down into the moment where I can feel the cold, the release and then the eventual light of day to bring back “reality.”

    Lovely, and as always, thanks 🙂

    1. Thank you. I think I edited and re-edtied this more than any other flash I’ve written.

  4. Hi Lara, just come across your blog by chance but am very intrigued and looking forward to future flashfictions. All the best, Steve.

    1. Thanks for stopping by! Great to meet you.

  5. Intriguing voice. I know the coldness keeps away the demons that are waiting to torment me. Now I know why I like sleeping in cold rooms with lots of blankets.

    1. LOL, me too!

  6. Great piece of ‘flash’, Lara. Very atmospheric. It’s weirdly comforting. Love that last sentence.

  7. Nice piece of fiction. I love the descriptive style you use.

  8. This is excellent flash fiction. I look forward to reading your other writing.

  9. Brings some vivid and creepy images to mind. Well done 🙂

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