Revenge #fridayflash

Syrenka statue on the river bank
Image via Wikipedia

 Revenge

     The villagers shook their heads in disbelief. Their thoughts were almost all the same. Who was this creature and where did she come from? The confused ones stood on the cobble stone sidewalks waiting for an answer to come. The only answer they got was their body being ripped in two. The prideful ones locked their children underneath the floor in the cellar. They believed their righteous presence would steer the beast clear of their homes. But, today, no one was beyond reproach.

    The creature showed them no pity. The centuries she spent encased in stone fueled her rage for blood and vengeance. She slithered through the streets devouring them one by one. Children were ripped to shreds, their tiny body parts strewn in doorways and windows. Adults were sliced in two, their limbs greedily munched on. Blood pooled in the streets. It splattered the whitewashed walls. It marked every crack and crevice that death had come to town. The creature smiled at their feebleness. They were all to blame, so they all would pay.

#fridayflash

Read the first and find out why she is mad as hell. Wayback Wednesday Writing Photo Prompt ~ Entrapment ~ #WW #fridayflash #MYWANA (laradunning.wordpress.com)

 

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20 Comments Add yours

  1. ganymederg says:

    Good writing, but I want to read more! Are you going to write a sequel or prequel?

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      The prequel is at the bottom. But I think I’ll write one from her prespective or someone in the town. Give some more voices to the scene.

  2. John Wiswell says:

    I admire the hyper-brevity of the piece, though I wish I came away with an understanding of why these people are guilty. If she was entombed centuries ago, unless these people have exceptionally long lifespans they can’t have literal guilt. So does she just think all people living around here are responsible for the sins of the forefathers, or…?

  3. Jason says:

    The boldness of your piece echoes the stark power of the statue. That sword means business!

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      It sure does. When I saw that pic I knew that was the one for this scene.

  4. A neat and enjoyably gory piece. There were a couple of lines that could maybe be tightened up by a word or two (“sliced in two” instead of “into two pieces” maybe?) to give more impact. But it’s a vivid, entertaining read!

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Will I agree. Flows better now. Thank you 🙂

  5. Icy Sedgwick says:

    I think I get why she’s pissed off but I agree with John, a bit of context about the time that has elapsed between the two events would help frame her need for vengeance. Otherwise she’s a fantastic creature.

  6. Steve Green says:

    I think running like mad would have been a better option. The fact that it was the ancestors who froze her wasn’t going to lighten her mood any when she got free.

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Yes I would have hightailed it out of there. Hopefully someone escaped to tell the tale.

  7. Aidan Fritz says:

    I like the thought that all statues are people who’ve been captured in stone. Poor villagers, I wonder if any will survive and if they do will the violence escalate.

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Thanks Aidan. I’m hoping someone will escape.

  8. Helen says:

    I understood how the creature felt, but I kinda felt sorry for the children, after all the act of their fathers should not be born by them. Still I’m glad she is free again!

  9. Kwee Lewis says:

    Wonderfully gory depiction of revenge and rage. Well, we all know what they say payback is… Very nicely done.

  10. Chuck Allen says:

    Nice job showing her rage and power. You’d think she would be a bit stiff after not moving for a while. 🙂

  11. ~Tim says:

    Well, that pretty much fills my quota of gory blood and guts for the day. Well done.

  12. brainhaze says:

    You should definitely write another – both great and powerful for small flashes – Nice work

  13. Aiieeee… that *really* was an annoyed mermaid.

    Not sure she’d look favourably on my four hundred counts of Sushi. 🙂

    St.

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Yeah probably not. LOL

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