Clocks Part 2 #fridayflash

Internal view of one of the clock faces
Image by UK Parliament via Flickr

Clocks Part 2

     Amanda gripped her Grandpa’s hand. It was time.

Grandpa looked down at her. “You ready sweetpea?”

     Amanda nodded, but remained silent. She was aware of two things; her heartbeat racing in her chest and the warmth of her Grandpa’s hand.

Grandpa pulled out a small tin and handed his grand-daughter a small green leaf. “Here eat this. It will help.”

     Amanda took the leaf and chewed on it. A fresh minty flavor exploded in her mouth. Her heart beat slowed and her mind became clear. Grandpa opened the clock face and pressed the center of the dial. Seconds later, a tingly sensation came over the child. Every part of her body felt light, her legs wobbly. Her body moved, as if sliding down a slide, then seconds later they were standing inside a clock tower.

     On all sides of the room was a twenty foot clock face with large metal gears moving near the center. The familiar sound of ticking filled the air. She squeezed Grandpa’s hand, he returned the gesture with a smile. Grandpa walked toward a small door and opened it. Hand in hand they stepped out onto a small balcony with an iron railing that wrapped around the entire tower. Spread out before them were more clock towers in all different shapes and sizes.

Confused Amanda looked up at her Grandpa. “Why are there so many clocks?”

Grandpa gave her a serious look. “Each clock represents a human life. There are many humans and therefore many clocks.”

Amanda took another look, her brows furrowed. “We come from a land of clocks?”

            Grandpa laughed and pulled Amanda close to him. “In a way, we do, but it’s much more complicated than that.”

Amanda leaned onto the railing and peered down below. “What do people do here?”

Grandpa rubbed his chin. “Well, some of us make clocks, others are clock watchers, but we make sure the clocks run right.”

Amanda’s face scrunched up. “Run right?”

Grandpa motioned back into the room. “All those wheels and gears need to be oiled and taken care of, if not someone could die before their time.”

Amanda’s eyes widened. “Die before their time? How’s that?”

Grandpa waved at all the clocks in front of them. “All these clocks are connected to a human life.” He bent down next to her and pressed his palm on her back. “Our job is to keep everyone’s life on schedule.”

     Amanda gazed back at the clock towers. Her face was riddled with worry. There were so many lives to take care of.

#fridayflash Flash Fiction


14 Comments Add yours

  1. Helen says:

    Oh I like the notion that a human life is connected to the smooth running of a clock. No wonder Amanda is worried, clocks so frequently go wrong. Great idea, and an intriguing story, I now want to know where it leads to.

    Just a couple of small things I noticed you may or may not agree.

    These two sentences “Every part of her body felt light, her legs wobbly. She felt as if she was sliding down a slide,” the use of felt twice sort of jarred me, perhaps you could say Instead for the 2nd one It was as though she was sliding down a slide.

    A small typo maybe ““Well, some of us make clocks, others are clock clock watchers,” did you mean to say clock clock?

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Thanks for catching that Helen. Always good to have another pair of eyes look at it, especially after a long day. I’m trying to figure out where to take this one. I have a couple of ideas but need the major conflict.

  2. Sonia Lal says:

    Lucky kid, seeing so many life clocks.

  3. Helen says:

    Yes, lara I know what you mean, you have to take us to the peak and then bring us down again 🙂

  4. This is a very cool idea, and a great image.

  5. I loved this one as much as the first “clock” flash. You have a very gentle style that resonates with me.

    Great job as always, Lara 🙂

  6. Chuck Allen says:

    I like where you took this. I was expecting wild adventures, but instead Grandpa has a responsibility. I can’t wait to see where this goes. Great job, Lara!

  7. Pamela Jo says:

    Very well written. I didn’t want it to end.

    Pamela Jo

  8. Steve Green says:

    Lara the concept here is fantastic, I did wonder last week which direction you would take it in. 🙂

  9. Hi there Lara — you’ve got a great concept going on here. I like it. Plenty of places it could go. Planning to write a part 3? St.

    1. Lara Dunning says:

      Thank you. I’m rather liking it too. I want to write part 3 but I haven’t figured out the next step yet. I need to do some scene brainstorming as I’d like this to turn into a larger piece.

  10. Lara Dunning says:

    @SteveGreen I had written a different version, but wasn’t sold on it. Let it rest in my head for a few days and while I was exercising this idea came to me.

    @PamelaJo Thank you.

    @ChuckAllen I had originally envisioned a more fantasy type piece with woods and fairies, but when this idea hit me there was no turning back.

    @ramblingsfromtheleft @Jen Brubacher @Jeyna Grace Thank you.

    @SoniaLal We’ll see if she’s lucky.

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